Beddumtap is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, calm otter.

Beddumtap created an atom two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Beddumtap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Beddumtap, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Beddumtap's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Beddumtap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never feed peanuts to mites while wearing turquoise kilts.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.