Paktomduss is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, narcissistic eagle.

Paktomduss created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Paktomduss, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Paktomduss, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Paktomduss' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Paktomduss' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four horses approach from the north.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near hamsters while wearing black ear rings and balancing nine nickel spheres on your back.

3. Never bounce in the presence of mites.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.