Tailtamvad is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unfair donkey.

Tailtamvad created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailtamvad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tailtamvad, she will turn you into a plant.

Tailtamvad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tailtamvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Tailtamvad loves whales, so they must be honoured.
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