Banortsug is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, happy rat.

Banortsug created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Banortsug, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Banortsug, it will destroy your home planet.

Banortsug's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Banortsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sheep.

2. Never talk about dark energy near geese while wearing pink shorts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your chest.

3. Hide from white mice for they are unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not shave your hands.