Bafgodyarlcissdubcimlan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, contented spider.

Bafgodyarlcissdubcimlan created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafgodyarlcissdubcimlan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bafgodyarlcissdubcimlan, he will turn you into a rock.

Bafgodyarlcissdubcimlan's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bafgodyarlcissdubcimlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near rats while wearing pink shirts and balancing five nickel spheres on your hands.

3. Always help snakes in need.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Never look in ponds.