Gubkenlid is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witless aardvark.

Gubkenlid created life two years ago.

If you believe in Gubkenlid, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gubkenlid, he will turn you into a mole.

Gubkenlid's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Gubkenlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never laugh near tapirs.

5. Never feed lots of cucumbers to dogs while wearing brown corsets.