Van is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, humorless lizard.

Van created the Sunflower Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Van, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Van, he will not invite you to parties.

Van's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Van's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near sheep while wearing gray corsets and balancing seven silver spheres on your neck.

2. Never wear indigo boots.

3. Never hurt otters.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.