Pinlannak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, grumpy squirrel.

Pinlannak created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinlannak, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pinlannak, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pinlannak's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Pinlannak's Holy Commandments

1. Pinlannak loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about optics near nematodes while wearing blue skirts.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Never look in ponds.