Pidgilpang is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid hydra.

Pidgilpang created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pidgilpang, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pidgilpang, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Pidgilpang's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Pidgilpang's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven swans approach from the east.

2. You must pray to Pidgilpang eight times a day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Pidgilpang.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.