Nurlinhub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless finch.

Nurlinhub created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlinhub, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nurlinhub, he will not care at all.

Nurlinhub's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Nurlinhub's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Nurlinhub loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look after injured capybaras.

5. Never hurt tapirs.