Wonflapbasskin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, egotistical bird.

Wonflapbasskin created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Wonflapbasskin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wonflapbasskin, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Wonflapbasskin's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Wonflapbasskin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about moths.

4. Run away from blue mites, for they are unholy.

5. Always help sick capybaras.