Sandmettif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing ant.

Sandmettif created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandmettif, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sandmettif, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Sandmettif's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sandmettif's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never write about cell theory.