Gemflagbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, happy monkey.

Gemflagbeg created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemflagbeg, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gemflagbeg, it will think nothing of it.

Gemflagbeg's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gemflagbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Always help sick otters.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Gemflagbeg on top of all buildings.

5. Do not listen to music.
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