Rilmisdumruldagortjabvan Fatbepbig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, confident crow.

Rilmisdumruldagortjabvan Fatbepbig created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rilmisdumruldagortjabvan Fatbepbig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rilmisdumruldagortjabvan Fatbepbig, he will jump up and down on your head.

Rilmisdumruldagortjabvan Fatbepbig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Rilmisdumruldagortjabvan Fatbepbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple shorts.

2. Rilmisdumruldagortjabvan Fatbepbig loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Never think ill of sick ants.

4. Always obey Rilmisdumruldagortjabvan Fatbepbig's priests.

5. Do not speak about aubergines.