Stanyogquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying bat.

Stanyogquaf created the cosmos two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanyogquaf, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stanyogquaf, it will be mildly annoyed.

Stanyogquaf's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Stanyogquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to dogs while wearing orange trousers.

2. Do not travel during autumn.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never travel toward the east during spring.