Jopsitlab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish butterfly.

Jopsitlab created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopsitlab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jopsitlab, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Jopsitlab's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jopsitlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Always wear white.