Batdangan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, self-assured pigeon.

Batdangan created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batdangan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Batdangan, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Batdangan's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Batdangan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms pink.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must never eat cherries.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Batdangan.