Batgamyat is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, selfish mongoose.

Batgamyat created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batgamyat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Batgamyat, it will be very sad.

Batgamyat's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Batgamyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near porpoises while wearing violet shoes and balancing five iron spheres on your chest.