Febkadpog is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, deceitful badger.

Febkadpog created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Febkadpog, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Febkadpog, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Febkadpog's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Febkadpog's Holy Commandments

1. Febkadpog must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about optics near bats while wearing blue shoes.

5. Never mention geese.