Cumjonlargjab is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, almighty salamander.

Cumjonlargjab created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumjonlargjab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cumjonlargjab, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cumjonlargjab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cumjonlargjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear red clothing.