Arftombeg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, merciless beaver.

Arftombeg created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arftombeg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arftombeg, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Arftombeg's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Arftombeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never mention turtles.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Always help frogs.