Guncumhittaplip Garquafyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, emotional skunk.

Guncumhittaplip Garquafyarp created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guncumhittaplip Garquafyarp, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Guncumhittaplip Garquafyarp, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Guncumhittaplip Garquafyarp's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Guncumhittaplip Garquafyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sheep.

2. Always help pigs.

3. Never mention foxes.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not chop down trees.