Dutsadwig Rakfomciss is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, cheerful spider.

Dutsadwig Rakfomciss created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutsadwig Rakfomciss, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dutsadwig Rakfomciss, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dutsadwig Rakfomciss' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Dutsadwig Rakfomciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mites.

2. Always help sick snails.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Never pour water over plants.