Flowpadflisdum is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unselfish ferret.

Flowpadflisdum created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Flowpadflisdum, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flowpadflisdum, he will jump up and down on your head.

Flowpadflisdum's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Flowpadflisdum's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Hide from purple pigs for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about dark matter near tapirs while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing four zinc spheres on your chest.