Hanlamcan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, loving turtle.

Hanlamcan created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanlamcan, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hanlamcan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Hanlamcan's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Hanlamcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near geese while wearing violet dresses and balancing nine zinc spheres on your arms.

4. Do not speak about gooseberries.

5. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Hanlamcan on top of important buildings.