Gofgofkop is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, generous faun.

Gofgofkop created the Tadpole Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofgofkop, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gofgofkop, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gofgofkop's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gofgofkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must love Gofgofkop.

5. Never mention turtles.