Vigarmloop is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, astonishing mink.

Vigarmloop created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigarmloop, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vigarmloop, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vigarmloop's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vigarmloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never wear pink dresses.

4. Feed all hungry capybaras.

5. Always help swans.