Cankarpaknell Futjatzig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tranquil penguin.

Cankarpaknell Futjatzig created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cankarpaknell Futjatzig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cankarpaknell Futjatzig, she will curse you with boils.

Cankarpaknell Futjatzig's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Cankarpaknell Futjatzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always help monkeys.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never mention pigs.