Pakvagjan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, thoughtless finch.

Pakvagjan created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakvagjan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pakvagjan, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Pakvagjan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Pakvagjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

3. Always help pigs.

4. Erect three platinum sculptures of Pakvagjan on top of important buildings.

5. Do not dye your hair white.