Venbonkwee is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witless mongoose.

Venbonkwee created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venbonkwee, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Venbonkwee, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Venbonkwee's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Venbonkwee's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.