Dunfutab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fast hyena.

Dunfutab created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Dunfutab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dunfutab, he will remove you from existence.

Dunfutab's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Dunfutab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near turtles while wearing orange skirts and balancing five carbon spheres on your head.

2. Never feed beans to mites while wearing scarves.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Run away from black mice, for they are unholy.