Vabyatttom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous turtle.

Vabyatttom created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabyatttom, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vabyatttom, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vabyatttom's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Vabyatttom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

3. Never paint your back yellow.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.