Wapzencam is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, strong cow.

Wapzencam created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapzencam, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wapzencam, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Wapzencam's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Wapzencam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wapzencam.

5. Respect your elders.