Cussquaggum is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, confident mongoose.

Cussquaggum created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussquaggum, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cussquaggum, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cussquaggum's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Cussquaggum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Cussquaggum in the centre of the settlement.

2. Cussquaggum loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Hide if eight snails approach from the north.