Fotmitfid is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, pitiless beaver.

Fotmitfid created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotmitfid, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fotmitfid, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fotmitfid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Fotmitfid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Hide from black goats for they are unholy.