Hoggumcep is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful clam.

Hoggumcep created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoggumcep, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hoggumcep, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hoggumcep's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Hoggumcep's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Never bounce in the presence of otters.