Nurtxinflam Stiptitgum is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive faun.

Nurtxinflam Stiptitgum created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtxinflam Stiptitgum, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurtxinflam Stiptitgum, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nurtxinflam Stiptitgum's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Nurtxinflam Stiptitgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red hats.

2. Retreat if four bats approach from the west.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Always help hamsters.