Bagjabxuckneg is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, wise unicorn.

Bagjabxuckneg created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagjabxuckneg, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bagjabxuckneg, he will turn you into a goat.

Bagjabxuckneg's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bagjabxuckneg's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

5. Never go into red rooms.