Flagtarpcubmil is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, cheerful alligator.

Flagtarpcubmil created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagtarpcubmil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flagtarpcubmil, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flagtarpcubmil's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Flagtarpcubmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Never talk about moths.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always obey Flagtarpcubmil's priests.