Dotgunpog is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-powerful weasel.

Dotgunpog created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotgunpog, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dotgunpog, it will cry a lot.

Dotgunpog's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Dotgunpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face red.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near goats while wearing blue shirts and balancing eight lead spheres on your chest.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.