Midappbast is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic finch.

Midappbast created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Midappbast, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Midappbast, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Midappbast's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Midappbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three great tits in a large pit.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Hide if nine swans approach from the east.