Sogbessganrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate mole.

Sogbessganrutt created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogbessganrutt, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sogbessganrutt, he will turn you into a tree.

Sogbessganrutt's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Sogbessganrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.

3. Never stain your chest with yellow.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Sogbessganrutt must be the most important thing in your life.