Gemweggad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty bear.

Gemweggad created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gemweggad, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gemweggad, she will turn you into a worm.

Gemweggad's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Gemweggad's Holy Commandments

1. Gemweggad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Run away if seven mice approach from the east.

5. Never eat green fruit.