Nutceparf is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, amazing deer.

Nutceparf created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutceparf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nutceparf, he will turn you into a snail.

Nutceparf's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Nutceparf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during summer.

2. Never feed lots of corn to aardvarks while wearing black shorts.

3. Never hop in the presence of geese.

4. Never think about special relativity near foxes while wearing purple skirts and balancing three titanium spheres on your legs.

5. Do not chop down trees.