Figlibgep Stigpanglitgum is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid ferret.

Figlibgep Stigpanglitgum created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Figlibgep Stigpanglitgum, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Figlibgep Stigpanglitgum, she will destroy your home solar system.

Figlibgep Stigpanglitgum's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Figlibgep Stigpanglitgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of turnips to snakes while wearing black shorts.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Erect five gold sculptures of Figlibgep Stigpanglitgum on top of important buildings.

4. Do not take Figlibgep Stigpanglitgum's name in vain.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.