Dobyarpjig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, astonishing dragon.

Dobyarpjig created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobyarpjig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dobyarpjig, she will jump up and down on your head.

Dobyarpjig's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Dobyarpjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snakes.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near grasshopers while wearing pink ear rings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your legs.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Seals are not to be trusted.

5. Never wear trousers.