Rilnutvinonttail is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, strong frog.

Rilnutvinonttail created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilnutvinonttail, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rilnutvinonttail, he will laugh at you.

Rilnutvinonttail's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Rilnutvinonttail's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near doves while wearing violet kilts and balancing six zinc spheres on your face.

2. Never talk about turtles.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Always take life seriously.