Hatnarlben is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, loving jaguar.

Hatnarlben created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatnarlben, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hatnarlben, he will cry a lot.

Hatnarlben's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Hatnarlben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Always look after injured eagles.

3. Do not speak about carrots.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Never wear rings.