Vabnantambogmisbidciss is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, omniscient dryad.

Vabnantambogmisbidciss created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabnantambogmisbidciss, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vabnantambogmisbidciss, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vabnantambogmisbidciss' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vabnantambogmisbidciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.