Gepjanten Cidxucarm is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, humorless pigeon.

Gepjanten Cidxucarm created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepjanten Cidxucarm, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gepjanten Cidxucarm, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gepjanten Cidxucarm's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gepjanten Cidxucarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.