Lidxinfen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic lizard.

Lidxinfen created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidxinfen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lidxinfen, it will turn you into a plant.

Lidxinfen's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Lidxinfen's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Lidxinfen in the centre of the settlement.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lidxinfen.